Personal Notes

Notes on Messages of Hope

Hope, according to the therapist Yoshi Naigachi, is that waiting with the knowing that the "sun will rise again", suddenly and unexpectedly, with no possibility of planning for it or creating it except as preparedness for its serendipitous arrival so we notice when it is right in front of us - when it has arrived. All we can do is keep our eyes open for the opportunity, for it will arise; it will occur, if we keep hope alive, for hope is that simultaneous yearning for such moments and the expectancy that what we seek will occur. Our needs will be filled.

It is as if the universe needs time to adjust to be able to fulfill more complex "requests" or make preparations for our arrival into such time periods. One thing I know for sure, though, is that once you have lived in such a state of "being in the right place", living out of that feeling is miserable. You feel out of touch with yourself and feel as if the universe has abandoned you - as if you are already dead, but your body lives on - awkwardly; having no purpose in being here; wandering in and out of strange situations and existences where you don’t feel you "belong"; a stranger everywhere you go; a misfit; an accident. Awful feeling!

Hope requires some action to be consummated into being culminated - events crystallize into becoming by serendipity and one has to be moving around for such placement to find itself - it does not come to a person, the person has to go to it, and with hope and confidence, being a "moving body" will precipitate the arrival of such moments. Routine movements or staying at home will not bring such things about! It will not "happen" at work or on the way to or from work. It will not arrive by telephone or via an ad or program on TV or the radio. It won’t arrive in the mail. The fact is, it will not "arrive" at all - you have to be the one who arrives, physically placing yourself in an unusual position, changing your routine, going somewhere you normally do not go. Doing something you normally don’t do. By doing so, suddenly it will strike you that you have found what you are looking for, and you will know with utter certainty that you are in the right place - that "this is it"! Peace of mind will fill you - you will have no doubts as to your future success in this place, thorough confidence will fill you, happiness will return very quickly - instantly even.

However, you cannot seem to speed things up by simply doing lots of odd things and going lots of odd places - not exactly… but you can be in more positions of feeling like you fit in nicely, even if not perfectly yet, by doing more odd things and going to more odd places and interacting with the people in those situations - but you will know with clarity and certainty when you are actually at that right place where all else is going to emanate - the place where your life will radiate with brilliance and clear energy.

In a nutshell, then, it will come to you, but you also have to go to it.

A caveat: We seem to know when the universe is not yet ready to deliver our "moments", somehow. This creates feelings of frustration and lethargy. We stay at home, fall into routines, keep at our work, engage in small talk and intellectual discourse with people, help others with their problems - unless depression engulfs us and we cannot get up the energy to do even these daily "treading water" activities, and we begin to drown in our misery, giving up on activity altogether. This, of course, does not work very well at bringing us around to meeting with the right place and time, but sometimes we are seemingly "aware" that such a place and time do not yet exist for us, and that brings about worry that we have been disconnected from the universe somehow (though in reality that is a falsity and an untruth, for we are always connected, and the universe IS adapting to our hopes and needs, just more slowly than is comfortable ofttimes). The more connectedness we desire, the longer it takes the universe to adjust to such needs, it seems.