Notes on Messages of Hope
Notes on Messages of Hope
When I finally found a "niche" where I really felt it was a right "fit", everything suddenly went smoothly and my awful depression went away.
I hadn’t felt that feeling of being in the right place in many years, and the frustration of not being able to find such an existence was driving me to suicidal thoughts. I felt completely out of touch with myself and the universe, like an extra piece of a puzzle where I didn’t fit anywhere.
Only a few events in my life have given me such a feeling of correct "placement"
- Hiking in the woods of Ridgefield
- Running for Class President in High School and winning the popular vote (but losing the electoral!), seeing my proposals initiated.
- My entrance to the Museum School as a "sneak-in" student under professor Jay Jaroslav
- Being part of Karmu the Healer’s circle of friends in Cambridge, MA
- Being a street musician in Cambridge, MA (Central and Harvard Squares) and in Boston’s subways.
- "Saving" Pine Mountain from destruction (which led to my sister saving the rest of it from development years later)
- Helping Dorothea Sturgis move her entire ceramic mold and greenware collection and living with her a while
- Lynn Burton, DMA, The East-West Holistic Health Center in NYC and that whole crowd
- Being a street musician again, this time in NYC - Soho, lower Broadway, Wall Street, and in front of RKO Theater
- Bellowing "Free Tickets" for CBS Television’s pilot review programs at 53rd Street and 5th Avenue
- Art for the People
- White Buffalo Multimedia
- Tibetan Monastery
- Being a street musician for fun in Soho and in front of Metropolitan Museum of Fine Art on 5th Avenue
- The Commodore Computer pursuits, CCUG, The Odyssey/Menagerie BBS
- Hands On Science after school classes and the Ridgefield Volunteer Science Museum
- Working for the Ridgefield Water Supply Company, minding the reservoir and deep wells
- The Dances in Ridgefield (the "Raves")
- The Crystal Towers Computer Club
- Knowing "when" to go seek therapy for Hepatitis-C (the week that Rebetron was released)
I’ve been somewhat spoiled in that I’ve even had such feelings of perfect "placement" - many never do. Very spoiled, actually. Not having that feeling is excruciating for me, having tasted it so many times.
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